Three Summers in One Summer

This summer, three things are happening in my life at the same time.

Family vacation. Launching my business. And a constant presence beside someone I love, who is going through depression and who, unlike me, never gets a break.

I thought I knew flexibility. I teach it. I measure it in my clients with the emotional intelligence (EQ-i 2.0). But this summer, I lived it differently: not as a skill you pull out when your schedule shifts, but as a constant, moment-to-moment adjustment.

Three Lives in the Same Summer

Together, Upward Photo : Nils Rasmusson, Unsplash

In the EQ-i 2.0 model, flexibility means adapting your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to unfamiliar and changing circumstances. We often associate it with a professional context: a project that shifts, a client who changes their mind, a schedule that falls apart. What I discovered this summer is that the same muscle gets exercised elsewhere, more often than we think.

Living alongside someone with depression isn't about following a plan. It's about reading the energy of the day, of the moment, sometimes of the minute, and adjusting what I propose, what I say, what I set aside. Some days that means postponing a task for the business. Other days it means protecting a vacation moment we had planned together, even if everything else feels like it's falling apart around us.

No one gets a vacation from someone else's depression. So I do what I know how to do: I adjust.

Holding on Photo : K. Mitch Hodge, Unsplash

Emotional Beings First

At our core, we are all emotional beings before we are entrepreneurs, parents, or caregivers. And there's something almost funny, looking back, about giving presentations on flexibility while practicing it, not in a conference room, but in my kitchen, trying to guess whether it's the right moment to speak or to stay quiet.

The Same Muscle, Elsewhere

What strikes me, professionally, is that this kind of flexibility isn't different from the kind we develop at work. It's the same muscle. Someone who learns to adjust to a loved one in difficulty develops exactly the emotional skill that makes them stronger in business: the ability to stay functional and present when nothing goes as planned.

What if the flexibility we practice in our closest relationships was the best training ground for every other kind?

I'm still observing this, this summer, in both directions at once. If this reflection resonates with you, or if you recognize this kind of constant adjustment in your own life, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. And if you want to explore how your own flexibility shows up, an EQ-i 2.0 profile can be a good place to start.

Rachel

What if true flexibility wasn't measured by our ability to adapt to a schedule, but by our ability to stay present for someone, day after day?