Two Rooms, One Reflex

This week, I experienced networking in two completely different worlds, just days apart.

Wednesday, a new women's business circle, planning for the fall. A few days later, an art exhibition, surrounded by my paintings, talking to people I'd never met.

I expected two opposite experiences. What I found instead was the same reflex showing up, in two very different settings.

Trust isn't forced, it's tamed. Photo: Marek Piwnicki / Unsplash

What the EQ-i 2.0 Says About This

In the EQ-i 2.0 model, interpersonal relationships are defined as the ability to develop and maintain mutually satisfying relationships built on trust rather than performance.

Someone who struggles with this sub-scale often relies on the image they project, the polished pitch, the solid presentation. Someone who has mastered it relies on something else. They listen first, and let the connection build from what they hear, not from what they say.

Two Rooms, One Reflex

At the business circle, that meant asking a real question and sitting with the answer, rather than waiting for my turn to speak. At the exhibition, it meant letting someone tell me what they saw in a painting, before I told them what I meant to put there.

A networking room or an opening night is intimidating in the same way a schoolyard was at age seven. You wonder where to stand, who to talk to first, whether you'll be accepted. Nobody says it out loud, but it's true for almost everyone in the room.

Listening before speaking. Photo: Mimi Thian / Unsplash

Why This Matters, Professionally

It's one of my strengths according to my own EQ-i 2.0 profile, and I saw it again this week. The connections that take root, in my business as much as in my art practice, almost always come from listening. Never from the best-prepared speech.

It's also what I see with the teams I work with. The groups that function well aren't the ones who speak the loudest. They're the ones who've learned to truly listen to each other.

What if the next connection you made started with a real question, instead of a well-prepared pitch?

I'd love to hear from you in the comments, or you can subscribe to the newsletter to keep following along.

Rachel

What if you looked at what builds trust in your own relationships too?