Self-Actualization: What If You Were Already Cultivating What Matters?

A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast episode that stopped me in my tracks. I was so hooked that I took the time to read the transcript to really take it in. A Buddhist nun, Sister Dang Nghiem, was talking about addiction — but not in the way you'd expect. She was talking about seeds. Positive seeds we carry within us, seeds we choose — or don't choose — to water.

She said: "If positive seeds manifest, keep them — be aware you're happy, look around at the conditions of happiness."

I read that three times.

Because over the past few weeks, something shifted in me. I started working with my first client in a new service I created. I felt all the skills I'd developed over the years finally finding their place in a coherent offer. And I realized I'm capable of empowering someone else through what I've built.

That feeling — that's self-actualization.

Every sprout started underground. Self-actualization does too.

What the EQ-i 2.0 Says About This

In the EQ-i 2.0 emotional intelligence model, self-actualization is defined as the ability to actively pursue meaning, set stimulating goals, and continuously improve.

It's not a destination. It's not "when I've made it." It's a movement. A daily commitment to what truly matters to you.

And Sister Dang Nghiem says exactly the same thing, just differently: "We are not powerless; we just have not tapped into our true power of understanding, of insight. That wisdom is innate — it is within us."

That wisdom is already there. Within us.

The Seeds We Water

What struck me about the Buddhist concept of right diligence is its precision. It doesn't say "be positive." It says: notice what's going well and stay conscious of it. Recognize what you still have. Don't water what doesn't belong to who you want to become.

In emotional intelligence terms: orient your attention toward what nourishes your sense of purpose rather than what depletes it.

For me, these past few weeks, that meant naming out loud what I'm proud of. Not to boast. But to not walk right past it without seeing it.

Not the arrival. The awareness of the journey.

We Are Emotional Beings

And honestly? Sometimes we're so busy running toward the next step that we forget to look at what we're actually building. We minimize. We qualify. We tell ourselves "it's just a beginning."

It's just a beginning. And it's already something.

"Yes, I am enough. When we learn to be aware of what we still have, we feel rich and blessed. That leads to more positivity, more encouragement, a more positive attitude toward ourselves and others."

What if that's what self-actualization really is? Not the arrival. The awareness of the journey.

I invite you to leave a comment or subscribe to the newsletter to continue this conversation.

Rachel

What if you explored what you're already cultivating?

¹10% Happier with Dan Harris, episode "Buddhist Strategies for Reducing Everyday Addictions (To Your Phone, Food, Booze, And More)" with Sister Dang Nghiem. Available on all podcast platforms.