Choosing Alone, No Net

For twenty years, I worked in a system where almost everything was already decided before I got there. A policy for every situation. Someone above me to sign off. A clear framework telling me exactly how far I could go.

My job was to execute well within that framework. Not to invent it.

Since becoming an entrepreneur, that framework is gone. Every problem that comes up, I'm the one who has to decide where to draw the line. Not a policy. Not a supervisor. Me.

And I've realized something important over the past few months. The real challenge isn't the absence of a framework. It's the temptation to let my emotions decide in its place.

The net doesn't hold everywhere anymore. Photo : Ian Deng / Unsplash

What EQ-i 2.0 says about this

In the EQ-i 2.0 emotional intelligence model, problem solving is defined as the ability to find effective solutions when emotions are involved. It's not about solving a problem on paper, in the abstract. It's about staying focused on a real problem, while worry, fatigue, or pressure could easily take over.

Someone who struggles with this sub-scale often feels overwhelmed by the responsibility a decision carries. They get distracted by what they feel rather than by what's actually at stake.

Someone who has mastered it stays oriented toward the situation itself. They use their emotions as one piece of information among others, not as the final judge.

Setting my own boundaries

What changed for me wasn't having fewer emotions when facing a problem. It was learning to give them their place, and nothing more.

Before deciding, I take a moment to name what I'm feeling. Worry? Fatigue? Disappointment? Once it's named, it stops clouding my read of the situation. I can then look at the facts: what's actually at stake, what are my options, what really matters here.

It's not magic, and it's not always easy. Some days the emotion wins the first round. But with practice, that detour gets shorter.

And it's not just true in business. It's true when someone close to me disappoints me, when a creative project doesn't go where I wanted, when I have to choose between two options I care about. We all have, somewhere, that reflex to let the first emotion decide before we've even looked the situation in the eye.

No structure around it. Just what carries the weight. Photo : Neil Thomas / Unsplash

Why this matters, professionally

This is exactly what an EQ-i 2.0 profile helps explore: seeing where you stand on sub-scales like this one, not to judge yourself, but to understand your own decision-making reflex. A team that understands this makes better collective decisions, especially under pressure.

What if the real skill wasn't eliminating emotion from a decision, but knowing exactly how much space to give it?

I'd love for you to leave a comment or subscribe to the newsletter to keep this conversation going.

Rachel

What if you looked, too, at what you're feeling right before you decide?

Photo credits: Ian Deng /Neil Thomas / Unsplash